Going Through The Pain Of Divorce (The Cause Is Autoimmunity)     

It was unfortunate to know that a particular condition can actually cause a marriage to fall. No one likes it, and the fact that people are struggling in dealing with the situation gives a more painful experience than anything else. 

Source: flickr.com

I didn’t know that I was experiencing an autoimmune disorder called Graves’ disease and from there, everything seemed to change drastically. As far as the relationship is concerned, you and your partner are supposed to be capable of handling a specific situation. But in my case, it was different.   

Everything Just Changed 

Everything started when I experienced the symptoms of the disease where my behaviors became exceedingly affected. I thought I was normal and everything I did had its valid reasons, but during the time that I wasn’t aware that I was struggling with Graves’ disease, my husband already gave up on me. 

Source: flickr.com

There were these mood swings that he had to deal with. One moment I was sad and lonely, and then a couple of minutes I’m in a rage and suddenly in an unexpected outburst. After a couple of months, I became irrational and accused him of things I wasn’t even sure existed. I also experienced constant headaches that triggered irritation towards him. I got stressed about how I looked and blamed my husband for not taking care of me. It created pressure for us because I knew I was losing my personality. I knew this got him a lot of emotional work because he started to build a wall between us. It’s as if he’s been trying to protect himself from something that would eventually hurt him. He was guarding himself against me.  

Connie Baker, MA, LPC said “The good news is that divorce doesn’t have to signal the end of community, connection, or growth.”

The Inevitable 

It pains me to know that my husband, regardless of the circumstances, started to hate me. We lost the closeness of our relationship, and everything went black. The problem soon escalated because I could only see the negative side of him and would complain about how he became so inconsiderate towards me when in fact it was me that was being unreasonable. He asked me to change, but all I did was stare at him and do nothing. I imprisoned myself and let my husband watch me while I suffer. Maybe that was the hard part of our relationship during the course of the disease. It was when he wanted to do something to help me, but he couldn’t because he didn’t seem to understand what I was going through and that time, I didn’t know it either. 

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Adam Harshman, LPC said “The percentage of divorce for Christian households is almost identical to those who claim another faith or no faith at all.”

The emotional damage from rejection that I gave my husband made him decide to leave me, so he filed for a divorce.  I was shocked and devastated, but I sincerely understood where he was coming from and I had no intention of telling him about my situation. Perhaps it’s because I know I already gave him enough reasons to suffer emotionally and mentally. I unintentionally took his happiness, and that changed his life forever. As for me, I’m still dealing with this autoimmune disorder, and I’m trying to stay positive.  

I’m currently undergoing treatment, and I am getting better. I know I will survive Graves’ disease and when that time comes, I’ll probably ask my husband to marry me again. 

“Therapists who are licensed in their state to do couples therapeutic work must follow a canon of ethics that is strictly laid out as a part of their licensure.” – Jeffrey Kaplan, MA, LMFT